[REVIEW] Questionable Fluff

Title: Questionable Fluff
Author: .flavored
Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/flavored_7
Reviewer: kawaii_love @mysensationsite.blogspot.com

Questionable Fluff by .flavored.

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 5/5

I like the title a lot. It definitely caught my attention. When I read it, my reaction was a smile. The title is quite clever.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : 7/10

The poster is a beauty. It’s so alluring. It was a great idea to have individual pictures of so eun and kimbum and also to have a picture with the pair together. I just don’t really like the background. It gave me a too tie die feeling. I was hoping for a solid color for the background. A solid color doesn’t confuse me and bother my eyesight.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : 8/10

Thank you for not putting a summary on the forewords. It was a clever idea to put the definition of the words that were in your title. This can give the reader a firmer grasp about what the story is going to be like. However, after I saw your trailer. I was so confused. I had no clue what was happening. It just ruined your forewords. But then, it did give me the desire to read more to make sense of the trailer.

`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 12/15

I liked your plot a lot. Seriously it’s one of the best plots I’ve read recently.

Honestly though, I was wishing it was longer.

`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 7/10

Major points for So eun’s and Kimbum’s characters. However, since you’ve mentioned about Leeteuk and Eunkyung, I was hoping to know more about their personalities. If you wrote more about their own feelings and personalities, I would know whether to agree or disagree with Soeun’s thoughts about Leeteuk and Eunkyung being together.

`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 10/10

This story was extremely creative. I haven’t read a fanfic this original on winglin except for yours. It was great work and kept me amused and smiling.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 7.5/10

Here were some mistakes from your first chapter only.

Original sentences written by you would be after Such as:

Sentences that I’ve edited would be It should be: and Or:

Some of your sentences were awkward.

Such as: The guy pried off the girl’s manicured nails from his shirt, and very dramatically walked away.

It should be: The guy pried the girl’s manicured nails off his shirt and dramatically walked away.

You added verbs that you don’t need.

Such as: As was usual, the girl began to cry,

It should be: As usual, the girl began to cry.

You had problems with tense also.

Such as: the girl began to cry, tears rolling down from her face like there was no tomorrow.

It should be: the girl began to cry, tears rolled down her face like there was no tomorrow.

Sequences of your sentences were wrong too.

Such as: He turned his head away, the moment the girl looked up again.

It should be: The moment the girl looked up again, he turned his head away.

`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 8.5/10

Like I said before, I hoped the story would have been longer. You could have developed details which would have given the reader a stronger sense of every character’s feelings.

`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 13/15

I liked your writing style a lot. It made the story quite amusing. I just didn’t think the second fake story in the third chapter was necessary. I think one would have been enough, after reading the second one I was just like huh?. Everything else was great.

`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 5/5

I really love this fanfiction. It was amazing. I love what you did. I don’t really like Soeun/Kimbum fanfic pairings for some reason, but you made me fall in love with your fanfic. ;] great job.

`Total : 83/100

`Bonus : 5/5

For making me smile and amused on a sucky day. :]

Overall Total: 87/100

Great job :] Great piece of work. Highest I’ve given from my six reviews. Congrats :].