[REVIEW] Saving Kim JaeJoong’s Ass

Sorry for the long wait!

Title: Saving Kim Jaejoong’s Ass

URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SKJJA

Reviewer: THE_AnGeL @ My Sensation

Warning: The Reviewer has nothing against the author and we’re only here to help you improve your writing skills.

`Story Title: – 3/5

You title was catchy but it isn’t appropriate. Like using the word ‘ass’ is not appropriate. Well your title could be better e.g. Forced Marriage? Anyway it was an okay title.

`Appearance: 7/10

Your poster was cute but it looked like an edited photo. It was too simple but it was a cute photo. I liked the quote on your poster. XD.

`Forewords: 7/10

Your forewords were neat and tidy. One thing I noticed was that you didn’t introduce characters and personalities. It was a nice plot and you did a good job in the questions. A bit more questions to ask would be better. One thing I noticed was the ‘legend’ which most fanfic forewords don’t have. I really liked the ’legend’. Overall you did a great job in your forewords!

`Plot: 11/15

Your plot is a little bit of a cliché but it isn’t the normal love story. The thing that deducted marks was how they fall in love eventually and you should add more different scenes. That would increase the reader’s temptation to read on and stay tuned for your next chapters.

`Characterization: 8/10

I actually think you did pretty well in your characterization. Just try and stay onto one’s personality which you did in most chapters.

`Creativity/Originality: 7/10

As I have stated before in the plot it was a little bit of a cliché but you did a great job anyway.

`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10

I found in most chapters some errors that matter to your past tense, present tense and future tense. Sometimes you missed out a word or a punctuation mark. The mistakes are just careless ones but I suggest you to reread your chapters or request a ‘beta’. If not just write it on word. Here are some small errors I would like to point out;

Story: Yeah, I can’t believe either.

Correct: Yeah, I can’t believe it either.

Story: I strap the seatbelt for her, and she just smile

Correct: I strapped the seatbelt for her, and she just smiled

Story: I quickly skip on the information section

Correct: I quickly skipped to the information section

`Flow: 9/10

Great flow! I loved it!

`Writing Style: 11/15

You used speech marks which were great but I deducted marks because of this:

“*laughs* mianhe (sorry) Yeon Hee-ah, I didn’t *laughs* mean to scare you.”

I hate it when you do the * *.You could change it to:

“Mianhe (sorry) Yeon Hee-ah, I didn’t mean to scare you,” as he laughed.

`Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

I personally enjoyed your story dearly! LOL. UPDATE!

`Total: 73/100

`Bonus: 2/5

1. For requesting @ My Sensation.

2. For not getting upset at my comments!

Overall Total: 75/100

Great Job! Good luck in your future fanfics!